I'm sorry for the lack of posts this month. I'm in the process of moving back to the Bahamas and can I tell you...stressed is an understatement. Not only am I moving, but I'm also going through a huge transition period in my life. I'm leaving university after a whole lot of prayer and a little too much worry. I'll still be leaving with a degree but it's not the "fancy" one I was in school for. It's now a Bachelor of Mathematics in General Mathematics. I'm only a few courses away from a BMATH in Mathematical Economics with a Finance specialization, but my heart wasn't in it. I think I kept pushing this long for the appeal of the degree and that alone. Since I entered this school I had no peace about what I was studying - I was just going with the flow. And going with the flow may have got me passing marks, but that's about all. I was constantly stressed, unhappy and depressed (which had to do with a lot of things going on besides school but the demands of my program sure didn't help).
So here I am packing. So many days I feel like crying. I haven't been home (besides for four super busy days) in over a year and I'm just so homesick. Tonight I wore the wrong boots and my socks got soaked as I was walking in the snow. The bus was ages late and my feet felt like they just wanted to die. As I was walking home (after the bus finally came) all I wanted to do was cry and kick the snow. I'm so tired of the struggle. So tired of lack. So tired of being alone (not boyfriend-girlfriend alone, just alone period). I was just tired. I came home and immediately started packing to busy my mind. Somehow I ended up hitting my laptop as I moved a bag and "Nobody Greater" by VaShawn Mitchell started playing. Yes, Lord no one is greater than you. It was my reminder to just relaxxx.
Whoever is reading this blog right now please say a prayer for me. I can't wait to float in the beautiful waters of the Bahamas and just release all of this. There's a job interview waiting for me and some wonderful high school students who currently hate math but will grow to love it after they've been tutored by me haha
Happy holidays!
Always,
Zemi
