A Faith Walk: The Journey to Becoming A Doctor

When Kelley Cartwright, a 26 year old native of Nassau, Bahamas, walked across the stage of the Nova Southeastern University commencement ceremony, she was doing so much more than receiving a degree or the license to add initials after a name. Instead, Kelley (now Dr. Kelley Cartwright, DPT) was merely taking another series of steps in the faith walk that led her to this stage and to this moment. 

Three years prior, with barely enough money to cover living expenses for 3 months, Kelley began the physical therapy doctorate program at NSU. Having hardly any money is the typical identifier of a college student; however, Kelley literally had no money: no money for tuition, no money for books, no money for scrubs...no money! So here she is: an international student, far away from home, with three years of school to go and no idea how the first semester would get paid--let alone the last!

 I love God's humor. I love how sometimes He sets us in the middle of the ocean with crashing waves all around and asks for one thing: "Trust me. Just trust me." Kelley, in the midst of intense studies, examinations, culture shock and life adjustments, had to do just that: trust God. Each semester put her faith to the test. Would she crumble under the worry of not knowing how her school fees would be paid? Or would she trust that God would provide? She chose the latter. 

When you have no money and no means, it literally feels like you are placing your entire life in God's hands and saying, "Here Lord. I can't worry about this. I can't worry about tomorrow or even today. Here's my life. Lead me. Direct me. Guide me. Keep me." It's a scary place to be in life but also full of such peace. Periods of total dependency on God deepen the faith in ways prosperity never can. Through her experiences, Kelley learned that scripture is not only to be read and memorized, but lived. 

During her tenure at university, she clung to verses like Mark 11:24 which reads: "When you pray and ask God for something, believe that you have already received it, and you will be given what you asked for." The all so popular Romans 8:28 was also a promise she clung to and an evident reminder that God would not abandon her nor forsake her; instead, all things would work together for her good.

Kelley's faith walk consisted of paths that stretched through the wilderness (final exams, all night study sessions) and lush gardens full of beautiful flowers (friends, loved ones, godly connections) and sometimes weeds (failed grades, trials). There was sunshine and there was rain, but through the grace of God (and I do mean that literally) she was able to make it through.

Many of us begin journeys that require strong faith--journeys that will never culminate in a tangible reward like Kelley's did. Some of us will never be a doctor of anything, yet God still requires our complete trust. Maybe complete trust in God comes at the time of a life shattering loss and not a gain. You may have lost a close friend or family member and don't know how you will make it to another minute, let alone day. But God. You may be homeless with only a cracked phone in your blistered hands trying to gather inspiration to "do this God thing" and make it through another night. Right there, right here...is God. You may have faced a miscarriage and were forced to put a part of yourself into a tiny, wooden box as tears streamed down your face while also needing to cling to God with all your strength. In each of these circumstances we need to say but one thing, "Yes God."

A "yes' to God means you will obey. It means you will listen to the still, small voice within you and follow His leading even if you don't know how you will fund the journey nor how long the struggle may be. 

Kelley walked away from this 3-year long test debt free, full of a faith worth a million mustard seeds and as the proud and smiling Dr. Kelley Cartwright (the very first of her family!). That was her reward after not even being able to pay for scrubs for clinicals or textbooks for class. You can't tell me (or Kelley!) that God is not real! 

"For we walk by faith, not by sight..."

2 Corinthians 5: 7

To learn more about Kelley's story, read her personal testimony here.

Remember, in all things, to wait in inner beauty.

Love,

Zemi

The Other Side of Obedience: When Waiting Is Tough

Ladies, can I be transparent with you? I recognize that most often no one wants to highlight their flaws or trails until they have overcome them, but I can't just sit here dwelling on this: I hate waiting. I followed God's direction to be single (I'll just gently rest that announcement here). I chose obedience. I chose to sacrifice out of love. Now what? 

As I was driving through a family-oriented neighborhood shortly after the breakup, I began to cry. I passed homes and little swing sets and saw my timeline for a family just float away. I literally saw a shift occur in the timeline of my life where the home and family I wanted went a few years away. 

I am always told to be patient, that I deserve it all. "Zemi, you're so beautiful and so special. You will get everything you deserve and everything you desire." Well, today, if I can be truthful...hearing that is making me mad.

As I drove home from church today I prayed for my family. I desire a family to worship God with. I have so few people around me who have genuine relationships with God. Imagine if I had a whole house full?! I know it won't be perfect, but to see my children love Jesus would make me beam. To have a husband who loves the Lord and loves me as Christ loves the church would be so amazing. It all sounds so amazing!!!! 

I guess what happened today is I got caught up in my desires. It happens often because I'm a planner by nature. I plan things months and years in advance because it brings me comfort. I'm the person who would pack a week in advance of a trip, then repack at least twice. What can I say? That's me.

The beauty of having the Holy Spirit in me is that His comfort is immediate. I know right away that this time shall pass--that I need this period of waiting. I need these periods of fasting from love. Pray with me please...that I may reach full contentment in Christ, and laugh as my timeline floats into the wind. 

Lord, you are awesome. You are the maker and craftsman of my soul. I thank you Lord for making me special in your eyes. I thank you that your plan for my life is perfect. I thank you that I cannot nag my way out of any season. Lord, please prevent me from rushing through this time. Please teach me all you feel a daughter needs to know before she is presented to her husband. Lord, continue to prune me, however painful it may be, because through the pruning you are making me flourish and bloom. Thank you for saving me from the darkness that once consumed me. Thank you for sacrificing your Son so that the veil could be torn and so that this amazing relationship I have with you could be possible. Lord, as I wait to enter into submission, as I wait to have a priest enter my home, please instruct me and lead me. Please grant me the gift of patience and contentment. I know days like today shall come often, but may my time spent in sadness be decreased from whole days to hours and ultimately to mere minutes. May I be so fulfilled in you, my future may very well pass me by. Help me to trust you even more deeply than I feel I do now. Lord, please teach me to love you as you love me. May your Holy Spirit not be grieved to live inside of me. May I be pleasing to you. 

Always, 

Your daughter

Sometimes, even I need a reminder to wait in inner beauty.