Nassau Life, So It Seems

Gun shots and sirens

Blood staining pavements

Yellow tape and white chalk

Souls fleeing bullet holes

Drive bys and break ins

Tears falling upon cadavers

Gimme dis and gimme dat

Corruption in our House of Assembly

‘Man das the govament tings’

Corruption in our Cabinet

Selling islands and teefing sand

The seas don’t have enough water to cry

Lace dresses and coloured weave

Jugalis marching this way

Sweethearts and roaches

Too much on ya bread

Bamboo Shack and mistic

Long live the cuttah

Beads, feathers and swimsuits

Carnival sweethearting Junaknoo

Brass, pasting, uniform procession

Dancers, drummers, cowbell shakers

The best is still on Bay

Layoffs and downsizing

Closing down bank branches

Hotels and developments

Too many eggs in one basket

Math, English, education, common sense

D + D = F

VAT and NHI

Bank accounts in waist trainers

Every fee on the rise

Income fleeing on hoverboards

Loans, mortgages and defaults

No pennies for a rainy day

Children having children

Mama dancing way past midnight

Children killing children

Mama crying why oh why

Daddy’s letting songs cry

Mama’s wishing it was her that died

Sea weed and sparkling waters

The seas know how to purify

Sun rises and sun sets

God still shines on us

Gold, aquamarine and black

May we never forget the people

Are just as important as the sand, sea and sun

Surfer's Beach, Eleuthera 

The Other Side of Obedience: When Waiting Is Tough

Ladies, can I be transparent with you? I recognize that most often no one wants to highlight their flaws or trails until they have overcome them, but I can't just sit here dwelling on this: I hate waiting. I followed God's direction to be single (I'll just gently rest that announcement here). I chose obedience. I chose to sacrifice out of love. Now what? 

As I was driving through a family-oriented neighborhood shortly after the breakup, I began to cry. I passed homes and little swing sets and saw my timeline for a family just float away. I literally saw a shift occur in the timeline of my life where the home and family I wanted went a few years away. 

I am always told to be patient, that I deserve it all. "Zemi, you're so beautiful and so special. You will get everything you deserve and everything you desire." Well, today, if I can be truthful...hearing that is making me mad.

As I drove home from church today I prayed for my family. I desire a family to worship God with. I have so few people around me who have genuine relationships with God. Imagine if I had a whole house full?! I know it won't be perfect, but to see my children love Jesus would make me beam. To have a husband who loves the Lord and loves me as Christ loves the church would be so amazing. It all sounds so amazing!!!! 

I guess what happened today is I got caught up in my desires. It happens often because I'm a planner by nature. I plan things months and years in advance because it brings me comfort. I'm the person who would pack a week in advance of a trip, then repack at least twice. What can I say? That's me.

The beauty of having the Holy Spirit in me is that His comfort is immediate. I know right away that this time shall pass--that I need this period of waiting. I need these periods of fasting from love. Pray with me please...that I may reach full contentment in Christ, and laugh as my timeline floats into the wind. 

Lord, you are awesome. You are the maker and craftsman of my soul. I thank you Lord for making me special in your eyes. I thank you that your plan for my life is perfect. I thank you that I cannot nag my way out of any season. Lord, please prevent me from rushing through this time. Please teach me all you feel a daughter needs to know before she is presented to her husband. Lord, continue to prune me, however painful it may be, because through the pruning you are making me flourish and bloom. Thank you for saving me from the darkness that once consumed me. Thank you for sacrificing your Son so that the veil could be torn and so that this amazing relationship I have with you could be possible. Lord, as I wait to enter into submission, as I wait to have a priest enter my home, please instruct me and lead me. Please grant me the gift of patience and contentment. I know days like today shall come often, but may my time spent in sadness be decreased from whole days to hours and ultimately to mere minutes. May I be so fulfilled in you, my future may very well pass me by. Help me to trust you even more deeply than I feel I do now. Lord, please teach me to love you as you love me. May your Holy Spirit not be grieved to live inside of me. May I be pleasing to you. 

Always, 

Your daughter

Sometimes, even I need a reminder to wait in inner beauty.

Through the Speaker: Casey J - "Fill Me Up"

I just had the most amazing time dancing to this song in my bedroom. 
Our plea should always be, 
"Lord, fill me up. Empty me of what is not of you and fill me up."

May the Lord's spirit fall upon you and draw you closer unto Him. 

Through the Speaker: The Walls Group - "Satisfied"

When I had nothing, you were there. When I slept on the floor with an empty stomach, you were there. When no one cared about my daily activities, you were speaking to me. When I had visions, you made them plain. When I was called to high places, you introduced me. When I could lend out of a surplus, you gave me more. When I could buy anything I desired, you held my hand as I walked into the store. When I had a dream and had it buried deep, you used your bare hands to uncover it. Jesus, I want you. When my days here are done, will you be satisfied with me? I am satisfied with you. Even if you take it all away again...I'll be here Lord. I'll be satisfied with you. 

Through the Speaker: Kierra Sheard - "Flaws"

Walking back to God, not slowly, but with an even pace. Walking back into His presence, not with head bent low. I'm walking back to Him with arms wide. I'm walking back to Him with my head to the sky. Lord, I love you! You are, you are the one who loves my flaws!