9 Songs That Got Me Through 2015

Happy New Year Beauties!

2015 was a beautiful year for me. I started a new job, launched my book, was obedient to God unto sacrifice, entrusted God with my love life, spoke to young women, travelled, let go of relationships, formed relationships and truly walked in purpose. Still, although I had a year of highs, I did have quite a few lows. I attended the funerals of a friend--a beautiful woman of 26 who had an amazing, genuine spirit--and a childhood mentor. I was slighted by women, experienced a period of deep depression and looked many of my imperfections directly in the face. 

In retrospect, I look upon 2015 as a foundational year. It was a year I was able to reap the harvest I have been sowing for years. I saw promises God made me be fulfilled and I now welcome 2016 as a year of preparation. Before I begin writing posts on what God is preparing me for and the lessons I am learning along the way, I wanted to list here the songs that got me through 2015. Some of them I leaned on greatly for strength and motivation. Some helped me connect deeply with my heavenly Father. Others kept my mood light and enabled me to overcome bouts of emotional emptiness. 

9 was an important number for me in 2015 so I have chosen to list the top 9 songs that impacted me throughout the year. These songs are listed in no particular order. My hope is that you too may be touched by this music and be ushered into a moment of praise and thanksgiving.

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19

1. The Walls Group "Satisfied"

When God began tugging on my heart to leave my former relationship, I literally saw my timeline float years into the future. The home, the children, the husband...they all floated a few years farther in time. As I drove through a family oriented neighbourhood and reflected on this revelation, I cried. This song crept into my heart and was something I clung on to. It was also the song that bonded my current boyfriend and myself for the initial first months of us meeting. No matter what I have or don't have, I want to be satisfied with Jesus. I may never get that house, that car, that husband or those amazing children, but Jesus can be mine. He can be mine right now, today...forever. I am satisfied.

2. Smokie Norful "No Greater Love"

The time before I broke up with my boyfriend was agonizing. I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want to start over and I was upset about all I had invested so I prayed. I cried out to God asking him what he wanted of me and who he wanted me to be with. As soon as that question left me I heard the chorus of this song and the name "Jesus". The song had been playing the entire time, but I hadn't heard a thing until I heard the name "Jesus". I made a choice that many woman pursuing God are called to make: I chose Jesus over any him. 

3. Casey J "Fill Me Up"

The hard part was over, my space was cleared. I wanted so much to feel close to God again. One afternoon I dimmed the lights, played this song and danced in my room. I can't sing at all, but I love to dance. There is something about moving that stirs my spirit. I felt so full in that moment and am eager to enter that place of fullness, completeness and peace consistently.

4. Kim Walker "Spirit Break Out"

As soon as Kim utters the first line of this song my eyes begin to water. It's like the Holy Spirit dwells in this song and immediately enters the room when it plays. Many love the version by William McDowell--regardless of preference, this song should become a mantra for you: "King Jesus, you're the name we're lifting high. Your glory shaking up the earth and skies. Revival, we want to see your kingdom here. Spirit break out. Break out walls down. Spirit break out. Break our walls down." 

5. Jaye Thomas "We Wait for You"

For the first time in my life I fell in love with the Jesus in a man before I fell in love with the flesh and blood man. I was so drawn to Ian's stability, his grounding, his faith, his wisdom and his worship. Throughout the year I witnessed him sing out to God and my heart was so moved. The peace I feel in his anointing is something I have never known. This is one of the songs Ian led this year. I was blown away and fell in love with this song. God is so faithful. I am so thankful I waited for Him.

6. Tim Bowman Jr. "I'm Good"

I did mention above that I experienced a period of deep depression in 2015. As many of you may know from previous posts, I lost my mother when I was 12 years old. While studying abroad in Canada, I came to realize that I associated her death with Thanksgiving Day. I don't think I noticed it much while living in the Bahamas because we follow American tradition and so what we know as Thanksgiving is in November. My mother died the day after Thanksgiving in 2002 so during that week I become a bit withdrawn and sad. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving in Canada is in early October. So what I found was that I would become depressed in October and have those feelings lingering until my mother's actual death day in November. It greatly impacted my grades and left me unable to salvage the semester. Since moving home in 2014, I thought I was free of seasonal depression as I did not experience it at all that year. However, for some reason, it creeped up on me strongly in 2015. Once again I found myself deeply depressed in October not knowing what to do. I was lashing out and felt so entirely low...it was a hard time for myself and loved ones. This song I feel literally saved my life. The lyrics and arrangement are so simple, yet the message is so profound: "I'm good. I'm good enough. I'm good." I played this song over and over until I was singing and clapping and most importantly, smiling.

Aside from being such an uplifting song. This song became special to me because of Tim and Brelyn Bowman's story. The two married in 2015 as virgins (yes they both were virgins!). I found their story so incredibly inspiring and wanted my support to be tangible so I am happy to announce that "I'm Good" was my first ever iTunes music purchase. :) 

7. Anthony Brown "Worth"

Wow. This song became so special to me in 2015. I had recently exited that period of sadness and I heard this song one day and it truly struck a cord in my heart. God thought I --sinful, jacked up, hot mess me -- was worth saving so He came and SAVED MY LIFE. He thought I -- sinful, jacked up, hot mess me -- was worth keeping so He CLEANED ME UP INSIDE. He thought I was to die for so He SACRIFICED HIS LIFE so I could be FREE & WHOLE & to tell everyone I know. If that isn't enough to be full of awe, praise and thanks, I don't know what is. Thank you Jesus for saving me, even me.

8. Kari Jobe "Oh How He Loves Us"

My blog is centered around waiting, and not just any type of waiting, but waiting in inner beauty: in purity, honor and goodness. Still, even for me, sometimes waiting is hard. I am a planner by nature so it's easy for me to get swept up in planning things: my wedding, home layout, whole life up to retirement lol The planning isn't necessarily bad, because it keeps me organized and it's great when I'm preparing a budget or forming a business plan or mapping out future goals. It gets bad when I become caught up in the details and allow myself to get frustrated that things aren't happening according to my timeline. I had quite a few of those moments in 2015. During one of them, God told me that I need not worry about the details because all that I wanted was being prepared for me. I was blown away. Shortly after I came across this song and knew in that moment that God wanted me to know just how much I (and you, and him, and her) are loved. 

9. Travis Green "Intentional"

Over the course of the year, I came to realize that nothing is by accident. No encounter or event happens without purpose or intent. Why? Because God is intentional. He does not waste moments or experiences. He does not waste our time with people. Each moment is a teachable moment. In each person there is something to be gleaned. We learn who to cling to, who to pull away from, what soul ties to sever, what skills or lessons to learn. Even the most painful or frustrating of experiences have served a purpose in my life...a purpose I don't take lightly or for granted. God is intentional and he most certainly has been for a long time.

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Be blessed dear beauties. Continue to walk in love.