Friday 21 June 2013

Am I in the Wrong Fairy Tale?


If you're anything like me you grew up totally obsessed with the idea of being a princess and watched (or read) numerous fairy tales involving a man (usually a prince) pursuing a woman. Here's a short list of some of  the most beloved Disney classics with this premise:
  • Snow White
  • Sleeping Beauty
  • Cinderella
  • Aladdin 
Still, despite all of these examples from our childhood, many women choose to live out their lives like Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Most of you probably know full well the details of this Disney classic, but I'll give you a brief overview. Ariel, a beautiful, red headed mermaid, discovered the statue of a handsome human and often fantasized of one day being with this man. One night she actually saw this human and got the opportunity to save his life. He was unconscious and of course had no idea who had saved him. Ariel then convinced herself that she would never be happy unless she had Prince Eric in her life. To be with him she ignored the counsel of her father, King Triton, and sought out the help of a sorceress. Ariel traded in her glorious mermaid tale for human legs she didn't even know how to use in order to have the opportunity to win Eric's heart. As payment, Ariel sacrificed her beautiful voice, became mute and was subject to the demands of the evil sorceress. So now, at 23, I'm watching this movie and the first thing that comes to my mind is: "This girl is really doing too much." 

In the movie Ariel eventually did marry Prince Eric. Consequently, we all grew up with it ingrained in our minds that when we alter ourselves to get a man we can actually get that man. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but Disney remodeled the story specifically so that little girls the world over walked away with this particular notion and happy ending. In the original story by Hans Christian Andersen the prince married someone else and poor Ariel - unable to verbally convey her love - turned into sea foam. So then...was all that really worth it?

Now let's take it to real life. How many of us have remodeled our bodies and lives so as to attract the attention of a man? How many of us have sought counsel, ignored the advice of our loved ones and even our heavenly father to pursue a man? How many of you actually watch your girlfriends continuously chase down men at any cost? Why do we not wait in patient anticipation like we are taught to do in so many of our other beloved childhood tales?

Let's examine the story of Aurora from Sleeping Beauty. Did she sit and cry every day waiting on her prince or did she continue being her genuine and beautiful high-spirited self? She was an obedient child and each day sought to please her fairy god mothers by dutifully and happily completing her chores. She was admired and adored and never wallowed over her situation. She kept busy. She was a woman worth pursuing and, as such, just to be with her, her prince cut through thorns and even killed a dragon. Now who doesn't want that?

Ten minutes on Instagram and you can see how backward society has become. In almost every other species the male has the beautiful colors and patterns while the female is bland (think of a peacock). Some species even fight to the death to be with their mate. Now I'm not encouraging violence in any way, but shouldn't we as women realize we're actually worth this much? We're worth being impressed. We're worth the effort! We're worth the waiting! We're worth the courtship! Yet...we're on Instagram with coats of make-up. We're getting booty shots, breast implants, nose reconstruction, etc all to impress a man. 

Whenever I'm approached by a man I think to myself, "I wish he could see my heart." Shouldn't that be what we present and work so hard to beautify? Shouldn't our character be more attractive than our faces? Ladies, let's make a conscious effort to reestablish our self worth. Let's get busy being women of purpose! The men will come. They may be busy fighting through some thorns right now, but they will come.

Wait in inner beauty.

Love always,

Zemi Holland


Waiting in inner beauty.
[May 2012 photo-shoot with Leaundra Lewis Designs.]

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