Tribute to Daisy Thompson

October 7th, 1939 - July 15th, 2012

On July 15th, 2012 I woke up earlier than usual. I checked my phone and noticed that I had a message from my cousin Olivia. Tears welled in my eyes as I read that our beloved Aunty Daisy had died just an hour before. Aunty Daisy was the eldest of 5 sisters who my siblings and I affectionately call "the Bakery girls". When my mother moved to Eleuthera in 1986 they became her family. We spent more time in their house than our own. They would bathe us, feed us, put us to bed, fix our hair, get us ready for church and school. It was like I had 5 more mothers in addition to my wonderful mom. 

The night before my mummy died we were at the Bakery girl's house. Mummy was showcasing her jams and hot sauce for a tourism event called "People to People" and Aunty Monica, Aunty Daisy and Aunty Frances were hosting. It was wonderful. Through the night, however, mummy began suffering from an asthma attack. At around 6:00 am on November 25th, 2002 she was rushed to the airport to be taken to Nassau. Shani and I were very anxious and couldn't stay in the house so we got ready for school and walked to the bus stop. Someone from town came to pick us up and drove us to the Bakery. Inside we knew what had happened, but no words were spoken. When we got to the Bakery Olivia was walking down from the house with tears running down her face. I saw her flushed cheeks and I knew. I knew that mummy was gone. Shani started screaming and I have no idea what I did. I just know that Aunty Daisy wrapped her arms around me...and I wept.

After we lost our mother the Bakery girls went into high gear making sure we were provided for. The back room was always open to us and whenever we came over (even if it was by surprise) food would be waiting for us. We were never turned away. We were never treated like a nuisance. They just loved on us any opportunity they got. 

Moving away was difficult. I missed Grammy, Olivia and each of the Bakery girls. I missed stealing dough, nagging them to make me baked sweet potato, sitting on the porch eating sugar cane, running around in the yard and of course eating dozens of pineapple tarts and fresh bread. They are my Eleuthera.

This past week I've been seeing daisies all along the road as I walk to the bus stop. I know it's her way of comforting me from heaven.

In October of 2010 I had a dream about Aunty Daisy. It wasn't anything alarming, but it prompted me to call. Eventually I was able to get through to them and spoke to each sister in turn. Aunty Daisy was laying down so I spoke to her last. She seemed strong so I put my worries to rest and never mentioned my dream. June 2011 was an entirely different story. Aunty Daisy couldn't keep food down and had lost a lot of weight. I knew enough to know that she had symptoms of some sort of cancer but was afraid to even breathe the c-word. At that point I told Aunty Theola about my dream and that it was important Aunty Daisy see a doctor as soon as possible. She did...and was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.

Pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly forms of cancer, particularly because it is rarely detected until it is too late. Most people don't last 3 months after their diagnosis, but our strong, beautiful Aunty Daisy lasted a full year. Even though she was afraid, she was determined to fight. She was so scared to leave us behind and every goodbye was painful for her. When I hugged her in September of 2011 right before I was leaving to go back to Canada I had no idea that would be the last time I would ever see her alive. Oh Lord, I miss her.

Daisy Thompson was a skilled baker, wonderful sister, caring mother to her adopted children, great friend, excellent farmer and all around amazing person. The following video is a tribute to her. At the end you'll hear the last message I received from her. I wanted to drop all of my classes to see her right away and she, being the unselfish woman she was, was trying to convince me that she would wait for me. As soon as I put my phone down I began making arrangements to come home. I've also included the speech I made at her funeral. Please don't ever forget Aunty Daisy. This blog can't begin to hold all the memories I have of her or how great of a person she was to my sister, brother and myself.

Thank you for reading.

Funeral Tribute

July 28th, 2012

When Zane and I were born mummy took us up to the Bakery. She handed Zane to Aunty Frances. And said, "Here, see your son." I don't know who she handed me to but I'm sure I went from hand to hand because they knewwww I'd be a lot to handle. I've known their voices, their smells and their touch before I knew myself.

I love all of the sisters and have a different relationship with each one. They are my second, third, fourth, fith and sixth mothers; without them I would not be the woman I am today and I am forever grateful. Aunty Daisy was always the sweet, nurturing one. She would always listen to my stories and my concerns. She'd stand in the hot bakery giving me advice and instructions or stand around us at the dinner table making sure we knew what she expected of us. She was so thoughtful and kind: she'd send a box of rolls for me every so often (because everyone knows I love bread). She was always finding ways to make us all feel loved.

Last summer when she first found out she was sick I layed in her lap and she stroked my hair trying to calm MY worries. She was just that kind of person. Although she was afraid she still had enough love inside her to reach out and easy my fears. She had so much love I always questioned why she never got married and had children of her own. She told me that she loved her freedom – doing what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it and always poured her love onto us. Anytime we came to the house Aunty Daisy would make sure we ate. She'd double check that we had sheets and always saved a few rolls for me. I'd go into the Bakery sometimes, put on an angel face and say "Aunty Daisy can I have a roll?" She'd say "Yes Zemi, take a roll." I know I wore her patience sometimes but she never told me no.

I remember how Aunty Daisy’s face lit up when she saw Olivia and I enter the hospital room after her first operation and how proud she was to tell the doctor we were her nieces. I remember how tight she held onto us as she cried when Aunty Monica and Aunty Betty were in the accident. I remember how she was the first person to hug me as she told me the news that my mummy had died...and I could never bring myself to accept I’d have to let her go. I tried to give her strength. All year long I prayed and prayed asking God to take some years of my life so she could have more time.

The past year has been so hard. While I was in Canada I thought of her everyday. She promised me a week before she died that she’d try to hold on until August when I was done my final exams. I told myself that wasn't a promise she had authority to make and I made plans to come home. I prayed to God and told him to tell her not to hold on for me if she wanted to go because I didn't have the nerve to tell her myself. My flight was Monday morning. I packed and repacked in anticipation to see her, but as God would have it, she passed away the day before I came. I will never understand God, but I know he knows best.

Aunty Daisy we love you. Even when you lost the weight and didn't feel confident we loved you. When you laughed we loved you. When you cried we loved you. When you scolded us we loved you. When you fed us we loved you. When you advised us we loved you. When you protected us we loved you. When you lived we love you...in death we love you.

They told me you told the nurses "Zemi coming!" with a smile on your face. I want you to know that I am still coming and I'll live my best life to be where you are one day. I know you missed Grammy and your Daddy and even my Mummy. I know you're happy. I know why you said, “Yes Lord take me.” I know you're pain free and I also know I will always, always love you and never, ever forget you.

Thank you.

Oliva (left) and I were fighting to have her attention so she picked us both up. Such love.

Remember to cherish your loved ones while they are still with you.

Love, today.