Word: Kia Moore - "Are you about to panic?" #DopeCrowns

Your Purpose Says, "Be Mine"

Valentine's Day 2016 is here. Evidence of its presence is on your social media timelines, on your coworker's desk and in shop windows across the country. Your church home may have even appeared to be a sea of red, pink and white today. Yes, Valentine's Day 2016 is here. And you? You're single. Not "single, saved and satisfied" single...just single.

Although I am in a relationship, I view myself as being in the exact stage as each of you: I'm waiting. (In fact, I'm at my boyfriend's house wearing a pretty pink dress while he's asleep on the couch. If I had my hope wrapped up in him and being "spoiled" on this day, I would be pouting and angry. Instead, I am happy to let him rest and am experiencing true contentment and fulfillment in writing to each of you.) In this wait and during my Lenten fast, I have decided to be conscious about removing marriage as an idol in my life. I refuse to listen to any more YouTube videos about the role of a wife and the beauty of marriage. Instead, I have decided to take Simone Gibson's leading and focus on "purpose, not penis". 

All of the messages and books I read now must be regarding the 

stage I am in right now. The pages I follow must be reflecting things I can do now. For example, instead of following a bridal page, I will follow a page displaying church and work outfits. Instead of following a home decor page, I will follow a page that provides office inspiration & design ideas. 

I want to focus on NOW because I am no where other than in the present. I'm not pregnant, not engaged, not a homeowner....I'm courting and working a 9-5 while trying to love Jesus and make full use of my talents. I can't stress to you the power of now: the power of using today, today!, to work on you, to honor God, to prepare, to pursue purpose, etc. 

We spend so much of our lives as women taking care of others from our siblings to our husbands, children and parents. It's time to make full use of today...a season that is yours. 

Today, Purpose is calling out to you with one question, "Will you be mine?" God beckoned me to send this message to a young woman He dearly loves and I feel it may be beneficial to share it with each of you:

Today your valentine is Purpose. Your purpose says, "Be mine!" Your purpose says, "Marry me." Your purpose says, "I don't have 100 roses for you or letters of sweet nothings, 

I can only give you one thing: fulfillment."

Will you accept the offer of fulfillment today? Will you marry your purpose and use the amazing talents entrusted to you by God to impact the world, today? Ladies, now is all we have. Use your presence to be a gift while in the present. Use your time to impact and love on others.

To help you on your journey, here is a list of 14 things you can do (starting today!) to walk in your purpose.

1. Pray. Yes, put your phone down, exit this blog, close your laptop, rest down your iPad and pray. Welcome Jesus and His perfect peace into your heart and ask Him to reveal His purpose for your life. Ask Him to tell you how to fulfill the vision and plan He has for your life. Ask Him to order your steps and fill your heart with a passion for Him and a desire to serve others. Read Esther and Ruth and watch how God provided for these women and used their painful circumstances (being an orphan and a widow) to impact thousands of generations.

2. Write a blog post. No one else on this earth has your story. No one else has experienced what you have experienced. Your story is your own and it is one worth sharing. Use today to jot down your thoughts and share the knowledge you have gleaned through your experiences with those in your realm of influence.

3. Record a vlog. Yes, I am well aware that not everyone is a writer. Some are talkers and they do it oh so well. Use your authenticity and amazing personality in (for some) a brand new way: record a video. Share your testimony or a snippet of how God has touched you today. Many of you have wanted to start a YouTube channel for months--start today!

4. Visit a relative. Today I went to see one of my great aunts. She lost her husband a few years ago and I felt a trigger in my spirit to spend some time with her today. Ladies, can I tell you how excited and surprised she was. She is in a big, empty house with no one but television characters. She's well able to communicate with no one to communicate with. It broke my heart to see her excitement because it meant she had a void for the consistent love (and presence) of people. I'm sure you may have someone in your family or even a family friend who would love to see or hear from you today. So stop by, give them a call or even send an email. When we shower love to the least of our fellow man, we extend that love to Christ (Matthew 25:40). Shower love today.

5. Clean up. Okay, okay...I know this one may not be fun or even appealing but for many of us it may be overdue. Clear your space of clutter and in this process clear your mind. As you listen to gospel music and scrub your tub, allow the tears to fall. Release your pain and frustrations and watch them flow down the drain along with dirt and build up. Today be a steward of your home. You, even now, are a home maker. Home is where the heart is...make room for your heart to be comfortable.

6. Read a book. Here are a few options for you: "The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love" (Meagan Good & DeVon Franklin), "The One Year Challenge" (Kerel Pinder), "Dare Beauty " (Terrenique Bastian)' "Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to a Fulfilling Love Relationship" (Myles Munroe), "Produced by Faith " (DeVon Franklin), "I Gave It to the Pages " (Zemi Holland--me!), "No Ring, No Ting!" (Brelyn Bowman)' "40 Dope Days" (Kia Moore). 

 7. Exercise. So what if you're single?! That doesn't mean you can't take a walk, go for a run ortake a few laps across the pool. You don't need a man to be sexy! You don't even need summer to be sexy! Get sexy for you. Start today. Today the gym has arms wide open and you can be certain that for once, you may have all the machines you like all to yourself.

8. Go for a drive. I know many Christians have a prayer closet, but I have my car. I have had the most intimate conversations with God in the car because I can't focus on anything other than the road. There is no getting distracted by my phone or the TV; it's just me, the road and Jesus. For some reason God has met with me there. I know it may not work for everyone but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Take a drive with Jesus today and buckle up (in every of the word).

9. Work on your website/logo/t-shirt design/invention. I don't know what it is that you have planned, but I know it is time to do it! You have the vision, now get it done. Resources are yours just place your vision in God's hands and make your request as His daughter. A loving father who sees his daughter doing and/or planning to do amazing things would never hesitate to help. Let Him.

10. Pour into your sister. This could mean your biological sister, your spiritual sister or a random young lady who crosses your path. On this day of love, don't miss the opportunity to make someone feel valued, heard and, most certainly, loved.

11. Revisit an old hobby. I truly believe our wealth is in our hands. Once upon a time, did you sew, paint, draw, sculpt, write or hair braid? Once upon a time may have been a long, long time ago but maybe it's time to dust off that thread, that easel, those brushes or even your skills and get back at it. I would love to purchase the "baby" that is conceived today: a necklace, painting, bracelet, card, shirt, drawing, poem, etc. Just let me know what you made today (even if you just decided to make strangely shaped mittens out of a sweater) and I will be your very first paying customer.

12. Take a nap. I know this may sound silly, but so many of us are going, going, going all the time and don't take a minute to just rest. It's okay to rest your body--in fact your body needs it. Curl up with your Bible and drift into REM (thank me later!).

13. Create a business plan/map out your 1-5 year goals. I am a strong believer in the verse, "Write the vision, make it plain." (Habakkuk 2:2) There is power and accountability in getting your plans on paper. I'm not talking about a rough sketch--I'm talking about details, facts and figures. Be intentional about you.

14. Pamper yourself.  I feel best and am thus most productive when I feel good about myself. So use today as "wash day". Treat your hair, scrub your feet, wax your 'kitty' or paint your nails. Do what ever it is that makes you you feel like Maya Angelou's phenomenal woman. In doing so start to think about your talents, your skills and abilities. Think about what it was that you always wanted to do and how you can move towards that vision today. It may be that you spend the next 30 minutes looking for a certification to take or watching videos on how to prepare for interviews. No matter how you spend the rest of this day, keep both the YOU you are now and the YOU of the future in mind.

Before I close, here's what not to do if you have found this day particularly hard for you:

1. Do not stalk your ex's social media.

2. Do not look for his current girlfriend to see what he got her.

3. Do not try to spark an old flame. Save your matches honey, let it go.

4. Do not spend too much time on social media.

5. Do not spend the day (or what's left of it) mad at God. He remembers you. Be patient.

I have no idea who reads my blog, but I do know that I love all of you. Continue to wait in inner beauty. And when I say "wait", I don't mean stagnation. I am referring to a time of action and productive busy-ness. Be busy cultivating an amazing you: a woman of worth and valor, a woman with deep self respect and appreciation for who she is, a woman who is Spirit led and who has hidden the word of God in her heart. Be the kind of woman society says does not exist--the kind of woman you would want your son to marry.

Love always,

Zemi 

Spotlight on "The Wait"

I have been waiting for this book since 2013! I won't go into details because my copy hasn't arrived yet, but I do want to encourage you to purchase a copy of this amazing literary work. I blogged about their story three years ago here. 

DeVon and Meagan's have done hundreds of interviews, but I wanted to share this particular one because you are afforded a tiny glimpse into who Meagan used to be. Angie Martinez recounts an experience she had when Meagan was kinda/sorta saved, yet kinda/sorta in the club too. On the particular night Angie eludes to, the pair had just left the club and Meagan decided to pull the car over to pray. In this simple recounting of Meagan before "the wait" we see a young woman who loved God and wanted to live for God, a young woman who partially submitted and partially obeyed, but who was going about it the wrong way. So many of us have been there--I know I have.

Partial obedience is total disobedience. 

-Unknown

The years I spent in anticipation waiting on the release of this book, I often wondered,  "When will they be done? When are they going to release this book?!" I realize now that God's timing is so perfect. I wanted to be in the wait back then. I wanted to honor God but I found myself dishonoring him in order to satisfy my flesh and fulfill the wishes of a man. Now, I am actually IN the wait...like waist deep in #TheWait. I've passed the stage of wrestling with my hormones and have settled into the rhythm of, metaphorically speaking, safeguarding my diamond. 

The hardest part of waiting is waiting with no end date in sight. Through this process, I have learned that the season of not knowing and still waiting cultivates strong faith and a deep trust in God. It doesn't matter how long I wait because I am honoring my Father who doesn't wish for me to suffer in the cycle of brokenness ever again. I want God to be able to speak of me with pride--as I want my earthly father to do as well.

Still, this post wasn't meant for me to dive into my own personal experiences as my story is still being written. And as you can see with DeVon and Meagan, it can take a very long time to write and release a story.

Love to you all,

Zemi

Testimony: You Can't Burn What I Got!

Christy Simms, weeks before adorning her cap and gown as a 42 year old holder of a Masters degree in Psychology, was douched in sulfuric acid by her then boyfriend. The reason? She was showing signs of wanting to leave the relationship. With the knowledge that came through her studies, she began to see that she was wedged in the rims of the cycle of abuse. He was controlling, jealous and oh so afraid to lose this beautiful, educated woman who was beginning to see into who he really was. 

As a young woman who also was in an abusive relationship (although of another kind), I gravitated to Christy's story like a moth to a flame. Lately, I have seen the residual impact of my abuse show its face and have felt so helpless. How do I face these issues? What do I do with these triggers? What do I do with the part of me that responds with violence by instinct? 

It becomes so easy to ask, "Why?" God, why me? Why did you allow someone to burn 20% of my body? Lord, why did you allow a man to kick and punch me and slam my head into a mirror? Lord, why did you allow a man to spit in my face and throw my possessions out into the snow? Lord, why did you allow a man to wound me, past physical scars? Well, Christy has a counter-question to all of those whys--"Why not me?" Lord, how can you use my scars? Lord, how can you use my story?

For Christy, her scars and her story are a powerful testimony that enable her to share the glory of God and the existence of His personal assistant, the Comforter sent to man--the Holy Spirit. I have used my story--through performances of "It's Okay"--to encourage young women that even beautiful, strong, intelligent women can get caught up with the very wrong one. No one is above abuse. And no one is any less qualified to live a life of strength after once (or twice or how ever many times) being a victim of abuse.

Christy before the attack which burned over 20% of her body.

Christy Simms' story is one of strength and beauty. This courageous mother of two did not raise up from the ashes so to speak, but she did raise up from a two month coma. She literally, in the course of  about 13 seconds, became a new thing, a new being...totally unrecognizable to herself and even her family. 

Through surgeries she is becoming "restored", but, according to Christy, God's intent through this experience was not to restore her but to renew her. "Renew" literally means to be made new again. The offer to be made new is not only extended to burn victims--it is extended to everyone. To me, who underwent verbal, emotional and physical abuse and to you who may have never experienced abuse at all. Please do not wait until you cannot recognize yourself to accept the newness that a life in Christ brings. Accept newness today.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17

I encourage you to watch these series of interviews that Priscilla Shire had with Christy Simms. I pray you see a different portrayal of domestic abuse victims and the cycle of abuse than you have ever seen before. I pray you see the beauty that I, and all of the ladies in that audience, were able to see within seconds of encountering Ms. Simms.

Part I

Part II

My dear ladies, may we be even more encouraged by what we see, learn, hear and experience to wait in inner beauty for outer beauty fades, outer beauty is stolen, outer beauty can be marred, scared and torched but inner beauty--the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, poise, reverence and joy--can never be stolen. 

In the words of Christy Simms, "You can't burn what I got!" I almost said aloud to my computer screen, "No honey, you can't!"

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Psalm 31:30