When You Make A Mess Of (Patiently) Waiting
I'll be transparent. Today took a turn for the worst. I had the adult equivalent of a temper tantrum and asked for a "break". Yes, a break. In an ideal world (aka Zemi's Idyllic Mind) I would go through life praising the Lord, pursuing my purpose, attaining key goals and then smoothly transition into doing all of the above with my partner, in marriage. And that's not to say I'm only waiting on "the next step" because really I'm not. I'm waiting to finish my degree, I'm waiting on my face to clear up, I'm waiting for deeper spiritual revelations. It's just that this area stretches me unlike any other. I think it's because I spent so many years doing things my way, meaning specifically that I responded to a lot of issues with sex. This season literally feels like prison to my flesh because in the absence of sex, my emotions go on a frenzy. Still, it's one thing to identify these issues and another to actively work on them. I know what's going on. I know my flesh is in a panic. I know my emotions need to be brought under control. I know my mouth needs to submit to godly authority. But it can't end in just knowing. That's why this challenge is so important. It's a daily reminder to never be stagnant in your walk. Always push forward. Always cover yourself in prayer. Always ask for the fruit of the spirit. And then what? Wait in active anticipation for all that you envision.
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."
Habakkuk 2: 3
My end goal for this challenge is to be like the woman in 1 Peter 3:4 who had the "unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight". Please pray for me sisters as I endeavor to get there.
Love always,
sigh...I often cry out for a break, or struggle to finishing the next task and plan for a break then...which usually doesn't happen.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right, knowing and doing are two different things. I even find myself, telling myself "Myah, you can't continue to read about it and not do it". I even read devotionals and posts about overcoming the lag or overcoming the procrastination, yet still procrastinate. Nothing compares to actually getting on your knees before God, reading His word and spending time with him. Devotionals don't compare to the meat of the Word.
It's a DAILY struggle but ya gatta push through every second and every test.
Whether it's procrastination or impatience, we have to remember to always bring our weaknesses before the Lord. He is made perfect in our weaknesses. Why? Because He transforms our weaknesses to strengths. God bless you Myah.
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