Why is thy heart grieved?
The Bible provides quite a few examples of individuals in waiting seasons: Sarah, Abraham, David, Hannah, Esther, Joseph and the list goes on. Reading their stories gives one hope that God is a promise-keeper, way-maker and deliver.
Over the past few days I have been reminded specifically of Hannah, the mother of the great prophet Samuel. She was tormented each and every year by her husband's second wife Peninnah because the Lord had shut Hannah's womb. You see Peninnah had many sons and daughters but she was not who Elkanah (their husband) truly loved and the jealousy she experienced because of this led her to attack Hannah. Though Elkanah loved Hannah immensely and gave her over and above all that she needed, she was still unhappy. Her heart was set on having a child and she could not shake the desire nor the pain she experienced when Peninnah heaped salt upon her open wounds.
It is so hard not to focus on the object of our desire when it's the one thing others always point out. Hannah was teased so intensely because of her barrenness that she could not eat. It was at this point that her husband said: "Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is they heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:8)
His concern for his wife, as evidenced by his attempts to comfort her, stuck with me. But what stood out to me even more was, "Am I not better to you than ten sons?" Isn't it amazing that we can have so many amazing things going for us -- a great husband, awesome job, amazing salary, beautiful home -- yet still be grieved over the ONE thing we do lack. That is exactly where I have spent the past few months. But has that time truly been time well spent?
If we read the rest of 1 Samuel chapter 1 we see that Hannah went to the temple of the Lord and wept before Him. She vowed to Him that if he would just see her, look upon her affliction and bless her with a child, she would offer him back to the Lord. Dear Sisters, are we there? Have we reached that level of desperation? Are we going to the Lord with our afflictions? Are we praying? Are we willing to offer up everything we've been praying for back to God, if given? Would you quit the amazing job you've always wanted if God said so? Would you leave the man you've always wanted if God said he's not the one? Would you walk away from the home and country you love so much to pursue the calling God has for your life?
To do any of the above requires obedience, swift obedience. This is not a season to delay obedience. This is not a season to harden our hearts to the voice of God. Yes, it may be a season of waiting. Yes, it may be a season of pain, but in your pain is purpose. God wanted to use Samuel. He wanted the desperation that was in Hannah and the provision that Elkanah could provide. He wanted their seed. But he would not have gotten that seed hand-delivered to Him if Hannah had not been so desperate that she would willingly give him up. You see God wants to use you. He wants to use you on your job. He wants to use you in your neighbourhood. He wants to use you in your relationship. In fact, he wants to use your relationship. But he can only do so if you offer up these areas to Him.
Will you surrender today? Will you surrender your children to Him? Will you surrender you husband to Him? Will you surrender your career to Him? Will you surrender? Please surrender, because when these thirty days are up I don't want to have to ask you, "Why is they heart grieved?"
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